Blocked....

As I sit here in an inebriated mindset I began to think of everything….
The Past, The Present, and Future.
A future I’m afraid of.

I currently feel like my life is one big bungee jump without the support.
Like I’m plummeting my way to the end head first (pause).

I just feel like shutting down and not let anyone in.
Free myself from all communication of the world.
But what good would that do? It will only jeopardize my passion and I’m already lonely as is.
It just that I feel like NO ONE understands me. They expect me to remain as this strong person they envision me to be.
Like my feelings or concerns doesn't matter.
Which leads me to think things like ‘Why would my feelings matter?’ which is a twisted thought within itself.
Granted there are people that are worst off than I am. But when the moment comes that I rarely need a shoulder to cry on, I don’t want to be told to ‘Man Up’. I want to be able to cry like the human being that I am, and be told that  'everything will be alright’.
I want to be held.
Not judged for having a moment.

But no, I’m Super Fucking Woman….There’s no Kryptonite allowed in my world.